The other day I headed for my bathroom, hoping to take a warm and
relaxing shower.

I started the hot water running. After only a few minutes the water
started backing up and filling the tub.

Damn, the drainpipe had frozen again… One of the frustrating
challenges of living in the cold (but beautiful) mountains of
Colorado.

As I got bundled up so I could head outdoors and defrost the
drainpipe… again… I’ve flashed on what I should’ve done.

Prevention is so simple.  When the temperatures are get into the
teens outside all I need to do is run some hot water through the
pipes if each evening, before going to bed… avoiding frozen pipes and
hours of work defrosting them.

What does any of this have to do with your relationship?

Great question… read on and find out.

So… as I headed out the door, mumbling under my breath and wishing
I had just spent a few minutes in keeping the pipe thawed, I realize
how much this is like a relationship.

A few minutes of prevention… of gratitude… can keep a small issue
from becoming a huge issue… and can prevent the freezing of the
emotional pipes between you and your lover.

Very often, clients wait the last minute to come to me… after the
pipes are frozen solid … and love doesn’t even have a chance of
flowing at between them. At this point, it would take a blow torch to
defrost their pipes and solve their relationship problems… but
luckily it’s not impossible.

So here’s my quick ‘Gratitude Exercise’.

Do this exercise at least once a week, especially when it’s cold
outside so you can keep your relationship communication pipes thawed
and the love flowing.

Simply sit down with your lover, decide who’s going to go first,
and then who ever goes first is going to tell their partner three
things they are grateful for/what they appreciate about their lover.

Here’s an example: Joe and Sarah are having a tough day, in fact,
it’s tempting just to turn on the TV and turn off any chance of
connection, understanding and intimacy that night.

But Sarah decides she wants more from their relationship… and is
willing to take the lead to get it… she grabs Joe by the hand and
leads him to the couch, saying “I know… let’s try that ‘Gratitude
Exercise’…  and I’ll even go first.”

Reluctantly, Joe settles into the couch next to her. His face looks
doubtful, but the truth is, he is actually intrigued by the idea and
skeptically hopeful about the outcome.

After all, she’s about to tell him what she appreciates about him,
rather than lecturing him on what he’s done wrong and how he should
change. Now that’s a relief.

Sarah is a little uncomfortable to start with but fires away “Joe,
you know, last week, when you took the kids camping and fishing with
you… and had to miss your bowling night to do it… They were so happy
and excited when they got home, filled with stories of their great
adventure… I was so proud of you as my lover and their father. It
really touched my heart!”

She then moves on to the second one. “Honey, I’m afraid I haven’t
been thanking you for making the bed in the morning while I’m rushing
to get the kids to school and make breakfast. You have no idea how
that simple act makes me feel so loved and supported.  Thank you!”

At this point, she can see the Joe is visibly moved and touched by
these first two statements of gratitude… and she can see he’s even
looking forward to more…

Inspired, she says makes her final statement. “I know this is going
to sound kind of funny, but I’d totally appreciate that you work out
at the gym several times a week. I love it that my girlfriends are
envious about how good you look.”

After sitting there and holding hands for a few minutes, they
switch and it’s Joe’s turn. When they were done, the pipes were
thawed and love is flowing through them easily.
Okay, now it’s your turn.
Grab your lover by the hand sit them down on the couch and give it
a try.  Don’t worry about getting it right, JUST DO IT…

With passion, purpose and possibility,

Paul Sterling
Your relationship coach

P.S. I’m looking forward your feedback. Give it a shot and than
leave a comment below. Until next time…

PPS. make sure to check out my ebook on relationship
communication at: http://www.magicrelationship.net/ebook